Facebook status updates!!!
Dear election facebook status updates,
You are hysterical. I get giddy with glee when I read you. I love when people think you will change the outcome of the election or change people’s minds. You won’t. You didn’t. And you will continue not to. But I like how the users of you continue to think you will. Their blinding faith in you is somewhat touching.
You are fun. I like to update you into controversial things so people argue with me and send me hate mail and leave me rude messages on things. People get CRANKY during this time. You HAVE done something good for me though… you made me make up my mind about which party is more annoying. And REPUBLICANS YOU WIN!!!!!!… THIS TIME!!! We’ll see who wins in the next election!! I think the democrats can catch up, we’ll see 
To be fair, most of my “facebook friends” are republicans (with annoying statuses)… so maybe that is why.
But most people are glad it’s over so you, political update statuses, go away. However, I am not. You amused me to no end, helped me pick pointless fights just for fighting’s sake, and got everyone’s panties all in a bunch. For these reasons I love you and will miss you immensely for the next 4 years!! Hopefully you will last at least another week then make a strong return around January 20th for some “post Christmas election humor.” HOWEVER, according to one of you guys, you’re praying for the rapture to come before then! hahahahaha. That was a good one.
What i think is soooo nice about you is the people “praying” for Obama to crash and burn. Forget that this is at the expense of our economy and countless people’s jobs… I hope YOU get your vengence!!! I mean, YOU DESERVE IT!
I’ll be somewhat bored when you start reflecting what people are actually doing instead of showing their views. I mean, I don’t care if you’re at school or work… I DO care that you “are a christian and support killing unborn babies! Go Obama! (saracasm anyone)”. These are MUCH more fun to read, and let’s face it, much more offensive!! You were fun while you lasted.
Hoping to see you again soon,
Jessica
Love/Hate Letters
Dear NYC,
I love and adore you. I will be visiting again shortly and hopefully moving to you by the end of the year. So if you could help me out and make sure there’s a job there for me as well as a place to live that I can afford I would greatly appreciate it. Also, get ready for my arrival as I will be extremely excited and going out A LOT. I’d also appreciate a non-creepy roommate so I can afford my rent.
Thanks NYC! Hope you can get all this done for me cause I really do love you a lot and want to move to you. I will also be closer to my brother and cousins and the minis I love. This would make me happy!!
Love you,
Jess
Dear Republicans and Democrats,
You are both equally annoying and I hate both of you equally. I’m not sure which party I am more annoyed with. This has ZERO to do with the candidates is the funny thing. I think they both look like nice guys. Everyone who knows me knows how I love old people so much, so naturally I adore McCain. And I like Palin ONLY because she looks like Tina Fey (but I also hate her because I wanted to be Tina Fey for halloween, but everyone would think I was being stupid Palin…. ruined my whole costume!!!). And Obama seems like a kewl guy and e-mailed me back when I e-mailed him… and i KNOW it wasn’t from him “technically” but it seemed like it was and I loved it. Plus he’s my senator and I feel like that’s nice.
So I literally cannot wait until this stupid election is over and everyone keeps their opinions to themselves. I think it’s great our country can vote and elect it’s own leaders, i really do. however that also means everyone spouts of their opinions. So I think the best way to vote is to vote for the party who annoys me the least. That way I can use my vote against the party that is annoying me… HAHA the ultimate revenge. SOoo…. which party is the most annoying? YOU BOTH WIN! Too many celebrities like you, democrats, and that annoys me because celebrities are annoying and, let’s face it… kinda vain and stupid. Also you LIKED McCain when he was behind in the republican race but NOW you act like he is “just like Bush”. I remember many of you saying, “John McCain isn’t that bad, I like him.” MY MY MY, how the tables have turned since he actually got the republican nomination! THAT is annoying!
Republicans, you act like the entire world will cease to exist and blow up if Obama is elected. Which is just not true. ALSO, Obama is not a terrorist. Turn off 24 and start living in the real world. He’s a nice guy. And his wife dresses very cute. You also act like anyone who is a democrat hates God or is just voting that way to be cool. Which isn’t true AND YOU KNOW IT Republicans! So quit being so stupid.
So, as you can see, we’re at a standstill. What’s it gonna be? Probably neither!
Apathetic,
Jessica
PS Sorry I told people I’d never get political…. but I don’t feel like this is really that political…. just wanting this election to be over already! Plus I didn’t lean one way or the other on my opinions
