Ohh Diet Coke
My dearest Diet Coke,
Our torrid love affair began many years ago. And like many affairs, it started when people kept telling me how BAD you are for me. That just made me thirst for you ALL THE MORE. I made a promise to began having you everyday. At least once a day. It’s been 12 years and I haven’t regretted it ONCE.
There have been many a time when people have urged me to give you up, told me you’re bad for me. He’ll make you fat (dont care), he causes you to eat more sweets (so???), and he’s just not good for you. But I ask this, how can something that gives me so much pleasure REALLY be that bad? That first year or 2 it started as just once a day. However, now sometimes I’ll have you up to 5 or 6 times a day! WOOO! It’s never really enough.
I don’t know if I can even describe that first sip of pure goodness. In 12 years your taste has never once diminished and has always satisfied me completely. Like most love affairs, I truly feel like I can’t live one day without you. In fact, I don’t even want to try. You make me feel alive when I’m done with you. I feel awake and ready to take on the world. So please, diet coke, don’t ever leave me. Sometimes restaraunts leave me without the option of having you, and they ask if I want *shudder* a diet PEPSI. Don’t worry, I would NEVER EVER cheat on you!!! Diet Pepsi makes me want to vomit. In fact, I won’t even have the less attractive and appealing sprite in your place. Because, diet coke, nothing satisfies me the way YOU do. I love you and am going to go have you now.
Your lover,
Jess 
PS. (Did this sound slightly sexual?!?!?)
a said,
January 10, 2009 at 5:03 am
NO, not slightly sexual. COMPLETELY SEXUAL. hilarious.
it’s even funnier b.c my real spouse is trying to get me to cut back on my love affair with DC. and (shhh…..sometimes i listen).
jessboulet said,
January 10, 2009 at 7:04 pm
I seriously get lectures on it all the time. I’m like a smoker with it… miserable when I’m not having a diet coke!!! I also get headaches… well every love affair has it’s downsides!!
liz said,
January 11, 2009 at 5:04 am
i love diet coke and will never stop drinking it.
Esteban Vázquez said,
January 12, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Well, you gotta get lung or brain cancer from something! For some of us it’s the sin sticks, for others of you it’s the Diet Coke. And for all of us it’s cellphones, which, according to my local apocalyptic street preacher, are slowly frying our brains. Oh, well — vive la vie bohème!
rachael said,
January 15, 2009 at 2:26 am
you are too funny! I am sad that our blog is not on your blogroll. boo. hope you had a happy birthday! i love you!
Rachael
mandii said,
January 16, 2009 at 7:27 pm
I’m drinking a diet coke right now.. and my baby loves it!
jessboulet said,
January 17, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Rach: no idea how to do that, Artie did it, haha which is why I still have wordpress.com on my blogroll. Once i figure it out I’ll try and add you
Estaban: I’ll die from cancer with a diet coke in my hand
Mandii: If I ever have a baby I might as well just give it diet coke instead of breat-feeding them!!!